some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
