We're facebook friends in real life
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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