I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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