i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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