he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
