Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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