i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
