A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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