how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
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You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
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The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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