do herpes really smell.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
