I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize