look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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