I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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