You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
