dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Dicks are not precious.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
