She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
COCAINE IS GR8
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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