I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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