Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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