last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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