If i come over, it means nothing
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I had to cum in my sink.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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