Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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