Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
