whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
another moral hangover. fuck.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
