Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
