I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
