You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
