just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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