mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
