My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize