i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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