I can tuck mytits in my pants
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
