Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Two words: blizzard sex
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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