is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
