i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
