I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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