Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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