chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize