she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
