He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
