how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
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He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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