hotel room ftw
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Reggie can tackle my bush.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
this is an emotional support booty call
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
