the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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