A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
