His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
