I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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