He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
