you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Green mimosas i think yes
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I am naked and annoyed.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
