what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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