YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
