lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
