Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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