At least make sure they are 18
Why
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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