singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
