Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
