So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
