Betty ford says i'm here all night
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
