Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
