I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Success! We fucked roommates!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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