Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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