I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize