He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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