you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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