i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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