Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
