Kareoke will never be a sober sport
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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