look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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