I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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