I showed him my bush... on skype.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
