Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
